Grieving is important phase in coping up with the loss of a loved one. It is perfectly natural for one to mourn for a certain period of time when someone in the family dies. However, it becomes unhealthy for you when you get stuck in this stage. The old adage says that time heal all wounds yet the pain of losing a parent or a child will always cause a sting even if decades have passed. But how long should you mourn over their passing away? When is the time for you to let go and how can you speed up the process? Below are the ways to help you deal with mourning.
Cry. –Crying, especially at the earliest part of the grieving process you so much of sense relief. It is not good to suppress the feelings. So cry whenever you feel like missing your loved one. Crying may not lessen your pain, but it will help you get relieved from it at that moment and it matters a lot. Mourning period is like taking two steps forward and a step backward. It is important to keep moving ahead no matter how slow it may be.
Take time out. –after the burial of your loved one, it is very likely that the loss has not sunk in yet. The most appropriate time that you take a break from everything is when that big wave of emptiness and sadness hit you. You can ask for at least a couple of weeks away from work and everyone. This is because at this time, you might be incapable of functioning properly due to overwhelming sadness that you are feeling. This will also give you an opportunity to be alone. Some people cope up better when they are given time to be with themselves. But if you think the case is not the same for you, you can be accompanied by someone who is also grieving.
Write a journal. –It may sound odd for some but this is very effective. You can write in a journal everything that you have wanted to tell the deceased person but for some reason you failed to do so. Otherwise you can just put into paper everything that comes to your mind at that time. It is a great way to unload all your burdens and pains. This may cause you to breakdown but will certainly help you to feel better.
Accept the finality of your loved one’s death. –acceptance is very crucial as this will pave the way to your healing. Accepting is recognizing what you cannot change. Death is inevitable and there is nothing you can do even if you are the most powerful man on earth and you cannot give all your riches just so your loved one will not die. Everyone will die as it is part of the cycle of life.
Letting go is different from forgetting. –this is one of the biggest mistakes most of the grieving people make. They feel guilty when they laugh hard or when somebody else is “taking his place.” This only means that you are slowly letting go of all the pains because you are getting ready to continue with your life. Letting go is very different from forgetting the loved one you have lost forever. It is a reality that you can never forget and nobody else can replace the deceased person
Divert and devote your energy and grief in filling in the emptied role of the deceased. –Channelizing all your energy and grief will benefit both you and other person as well. You can fill in the emptied role of your demised loved one and continue his legacy. Participate in the clubs that he was involved in. This does not mean you will dwell in the past. This will speed up your recovery.
It is not that easy to speed up your grieving process. Each person has different ways and abilities to cope with. While there is no ideal length of mourning period, time will always help you lessen your pain.